Work in progress

Perhaps, we were born broken.

And as we got through life, we take in fragments from other people to make us whole again.

Far from perfect. But every bit as precious.

Still, more than enough.

Square peg, round hole

If you always try to fit in, you’ll lose parts of yourself; important pieces that make up who you really are.

So just be yourself, and the right people, your kind of people, will follow.

Break the mold.

Ward

The days go by,
regrets never left my side.
But you did.
Life did.

I pray,
that you found your peace.
And as my demons haunt me,
that I’d find mine.

Au revoir, mon ami.

Loop

Thoughts, turning
Never really knowing
Running in circles
Seemingly unending

Slept, waited
Still, nothing
Awake, adrift
Emotions fading

Lying, thinking
Still not knowing
No longer feeling
Back to the beginning

It’s easy to be misunderstood these days

Everyone has this idea of everybody else. This may be fine and all, but everything just takes a turn, for the worse at times, when that idea is suddenly, for some unfounded reason, turned into our own truth.

We perceive people based on our experience with them. To many, that short time is all it takes to paint a picture of who the other person is. Perhaps because it’s within our realm of comfort to understand them just within our level of perception rather than put in the effort of knowing who they really are.

So, is it really easy to be misunderstood these days?

No. Not really.

It’s simply easier to misunderstand.

We’ve become too preoccupied fighting our own battles that at times we lose interest in trying to understand almost everything and everyone.

And to be honest, that’s not our fault. That’s just us getting through life.

And being the misunderstood person that you are, it’s not your fault either.

So when you doubt yourself for seemingly being misunderstood most of the time, don’t.

Don’t go beating yourself up for something you have no control over.

All you can really do is to understand them. Or at the very least, try to.

Bull’s Eye!

Bucket list: a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.

I have to admit, 80-90% of the time that I spent in high school, I imagined I was elsewhere. Yeah, I know, typical teen backstory. But I can honestly say today that that time was well spent. I was always adrift, thinking of things I wished to do in the future.

11 years have gone by, and I haven’t done anything of what I intended to do, until last weekend that is.

Note: By the way, I’ll share my bucket list in another post.

Archery is the art, practice, or skill of propelling arrows with the use of a bow.

In short, you use a bow to shoot an arrow at something (usually a target) or someone.

Okay, you can scratch the “someone” part, unless of course if you’re:

a.) using arrows with suction cup tips; or
b.) a psycho.

As much as I would like to share with you a brief history of what Archery is, I think a brief definition would suffice. And you’ll take what I give you, so end of discussion.

I have always been interested in Archery. Well, not really. Sorcery is my game. But let’s face it, until that day comes when I’ll be able to throw fireballs and lightning spears at people, Archery is the closest thing that I’m ever going to get.

It was a stroke of luck when I found out just recently that a College friend was in it too. See, the thing with MY planning style is, if I plan on doing something alone, there’s a huge chance that I’ll bail. So this indeed is something fortunate.

Oh, and we also invited another College friend to come with us.

And then there were three…

Note: and yes, I know the above only works when you started with many and your numbers dwindled. But I wanted to use it, so there.

We went to Kodanda Archery Range in Makati for some Archery fun. For details, you can visit their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/KodandaArchery.

Ready, Aim, Fire!

Note that there are other Archery ranges in Metro Manila (like Benel and Gandiva). But of course, this is the first one that I’ve ever been to.

I have to admit, the place wasn’t really awe-inspiring. I expected more of a wide area with the targets mounted on hay stacks. I guess my imagination was just way up there; my bad.

They charge Php 500.00 an hour. That’s inclusive of the following:

– A side quiver with 5 arrows
– A finger tab
– An arm guard
– A recurve bow
– An instructor

You also have to pay Php 30.00 for the printed target. I was under the impression that you can bring one for your own use (and save 30.00). A picture of a person perhaps?

We also followed certain rules. Not sure if I can remember all of ’em, but here’s what I can gather:

– NEVER dry shoot. Dry shooting is when you pull and release the string without an arrow. This can damage the bow.
– Rest the bow on your foot when not in use.
– Place the bow back on the rack before taking back the arrows from your targets.
– You must let ALL archers finish their round before taking back your arrows (unless of course if you’re stupid, or you like the adrenaline rush, then by all means).
– Wait for the whistle before loading.

I’m not going into detail on how to shoot an arrow as I think this would differ from one archer to another. But a good tip is to mind your stance. I was unfortunate enough to fire a round with an incorrect (or lousy) stance. Thus, my left arm was hit by the string 5 times, and it hurt even though I had the arm guard on.

There are three distances: 5 meters, 8 meters and 10 meters.

As much as I wanted to start immediately at 10 meters and show them how great I am, all beginners start at 5m.

Note: I’m not sure of the mentioned distance of the targets. Will have to double-check.

The whistle blew, and off went our arrows. At first, I had this feeling that I’ll get this right off the bat.

Of course I was wrong. I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t even hitting the target.

First round in; seeing my shots at the target, the pressure was on. I know this isn’t a competition, but I personally had to make it one. It’s the only way to push myself even further.

Praises were given by the instructor for my also-beginner friend who didn’t even want to play in the first place. As much as I wanted to aim at him and shoot out of envy, I can’t, and I won’t (unless otherwise provoked by my own lameness).

Our game was only for an hour. Waiting for our turn felt like forever, but time went by so fast when we were already playing, realizing that an hour is definitely not enough.

When our time was up, I couldn’t be more proud of what my target looked like: A few shots in the middle (yellow part, 10 and 9 points) and everything else was everywhere.

My friend’s sales pitch before we even decided to go was that when you’re shooting, you tend to forget everything; your mind will go blank; it’s just you and your target. While I can say that I’m an expert at blanking out, the way she said everything was like she went to Nirvana and back or something.

And in all fairness, she was right. In that one hour, I seem to have forgotten: the bad stuff, the good stuff, my name, my friends’ names, etc. and in my case, that was just what the doctor ordered.

On to my verdict. To answer the most obvious of questions:

Would I go there again? Yes.
Was it all worth it? Yes.
Did you try Archery out because of the Hunger Games? HELL NO.

My advice is not to snort at the place upon seeing it. You’re in there to have a good time, and a good time you shall have; for a price of 530 that is.

I am now thinking of doing this for two hours on a monthly basis, and maybe get that gold-plated, bladed compound bow that I was talking about and practice at the mall during the weekend holiday sales.

“‘Tis the season to be jolly.”

Starting Over — Again

I haven’t done any posts for quite some time now, 5 months to be exact, and I have to be honest here, I’ve thrown all my “hard work” in said span of time. Yup, I’ve gained it all back. In fact, I’m 3 pounds heavier compared to when I started last July 2012. So yes, I have a lot of catching up to do, and I guess it’s about time.

I can’t help but wonder: if I have had a strong will, even just a tiny bit for me to continue, by now I could have achieved my goal weight. But as they say, there’s no use crying over spilled milk, so let’s just skip the dramatics and move on, shall we?

Let’s get you up to speed with what you’ve missed so far:

– I gained weight again (currently at 210. Really bad).
– I’m not longer in Law School. A bit sad but at the very least, all of the pressure’s off.
– I’m working again. Yup, this is the main reason why I gained all that weight. I’ve been enjoying a lot of “alone time” at fast food chains, and by a lot, I mean almost everyday.

I can officially say that I’m a mess right now. And what should we be doing with messes? That’s right, clean it all up.

I will have to set some ground rules, but that would be for another post.

I have to say this before I set forth on another mission: it’s good to be writing again.

“Saying what’s on your mind without any burden is a good short break from insanity.”

Korean Night: Gaji Namul

Okay, so it’s now two nights in a row. Maybe I should make it a week? Or maybe a month? Hmm…

Anyhow, I’ve decided not to end my “obsession” with Korean cuisine, so I’ll be making one or two dishes when I can.

Tonight’s banchan was Gaji Namul or Seasoned Eggplant.

The spices weren’t that intricate. I used almost the same ones that I’ve used the night before on my Sukju Namul and Dubu Jorim.

Recipe was taken from here: http://koreanfood.about.com/od/sidedishesbanchan/r/Seasoned-Eggplant-Side-Dish-Gaji-Namul-Recipe.htm

And here’s my single-serve plating:

Of course, this being only a banchan (side dish), I have my main dish: Tuna Belly.

I must say that the two went well together, and that my tummy is really happy. If it can talk, it would probably say “thank you”.

I’ll work on side dishes for a while, or until I’m able to create at least 20 without looking at the recipe. Then I’ll try making main dishes. 🙂

Korean Night: Dubu Jorim and Sukju Namul

I’m not really over with the Korean theme for this week (all thanks to my Sungkyunkwan Scandal marathon), so I’ve decided to make two simple dishes: Dubu Jorim (Korean Braised Tofu) and Sukju Namul (Bean Sprout Salad).

Recipes were taken here:

http://koreanfood.about.com/od/sidedishesbanchan/r/Bean-Sprout-Salad-Recipe-Sookju-Namul.htm

http://koreanfood.about.com/od/sidedishesbanchan/r/Korean-Braised-Tofu-Recipe.htm

Although this is the first time that I made anything Korean, I sort of deviated from how Dubu Jorim is supposed to be cooked. I didn’t braise it at all and directly placed it in the sauce. So I guess this is more of “Boiled Tofu”. It still tasted good (read: edible) though.

Then we have the salad. It was really simple to make and the sesame oil gave it a good amount of flavor.

All in all, I can say that the two dishes balanced each other out in terms of texture. The softness of the tofu contrasted that of the crunchiness of the salad.

I don’t know if what I made was proper, if it was even acceptable, or if it’s still even Korean, but all I know is that people here in our home enjoyed every last bit of it. 🙂

Despite how sad this sounds, I’d give myself props; a pat on the back for trying.

But don’t take my word for it, here’s my single-serve plating of the two dishes:

This is not the end of it though. I’ll be trying out more Korean dishes in the near future.

But first, I’m thinking of visiting a Korean restaurant, just so I’d know how these dishes should turn out like. 🙂

When Love and Hate Collide

I’ve started watching Korean dramas again. I have to admit that it’s a refreshing experience from your typical Filipino story plot: poor girl becomes rich and exacts revenge on her oppressors, or the now common “mistress” theme.

I was first introduced to Korean dramas because of the local network stations’ adoption of it here in the Philippines. My first real obsession was “Full House” back in College. I liked the story so much that I was able to do a “marathon session” finishing it in just a day. Although this was my first dive on a part of Korean culture, in my view it wasn’t really a “proper” introduction for it.

Just recently I discovered of a Korean drama entitled “Sungkyunkwan Scandal” on ABS-CBN. Upon research, it was released in S. Korea in 2010, and while it didn’t get that much viewer rating per episode, it was still a success. The version that I saw on TV was dubbed wholly in Filipino. I caught a glimpse of the pilot episode and got quite interested with its story. As my Semestral break is about to come to a close however, I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch it on its daily time slot  so I decided to watch it online. For two days I watched the English-subbed version. I would like to take this opportunity to thank “fansubbers”, for whom without, watching and finishing the show would not be possible.

(from left to right) Yoo Ah-In, Park Yoochun, Park Min-Young, and Song Joong-Ki.

It is a historical drama about a girl dressing up as a guy (I believe this has become a common plot in Korean dramas) entering an all-guys school, falling in love and changing the world (not exactly in that order), all happening in an era when females couldn’t even work, except maybe as a professional Kisaeng (Gisaeng – female entertainers / prostitutes). Of course I accept that most of the story is fiction and that it still wasn’t a “proper” introduction of their history and culture, the setting on the other hand, down to the clothes, the whole feel of the drama (and the lightheartedness of it all) actually has its distinct Korean mark on it.

In those two days, I was captivated; the characters, although a bit lacking in development, were quite believable and most importantly, likable.  I commend the actors at how they made this viewer long for the camaraderie that their characters have shown along the way, as if I was part of (or would like to be part of) that friendship.

After watching it, I can still feel its effects. I’ve researched a lot about the actors, but most especially, their culture. I could not stop talking and thinking about it. I’ve even downloaded the free English-subbed versions for personal use. I was a man obsessed.

I thought of going to South Korea for an adventure similar to the experience that I subjected myself through these dramas, so I planned to take a trip to Seoul, and with planning, I knew that further research is required.

So there I went, researching online about the do’s and don’ts of going (and staying) in South Korea. It was a fascinating experience, until after I stumbled upon a HUGE don’t:  DON’T BE A FILIPINO.

I’ve read in blogs of expats living in South Korea about how some (if not, a majority) of their citizens tend to favor Americans or Europeans (read: white people) and at how they look down on their ASIAN neighbors.

As a Filipino, although my skin is considered here to be fairly white, I still wouldn’t pass as an American or European. In other words, if I go there, I wouldn’t have the same kind of preferential treatment people from said countries would get. Worst is, I’d get exactly the opposite.

So now I am plagued with questions:

If and when I go there, would they look down on me as well? Would I enjoy my stay there if I catch locals talking about me in a demeaning manner? Should I still go there?

These form part of what I’ve read so far, and I must say that I’ve never been this conflicted.

Part of me has come to love their culture, but only insofar as it is being represented in Korean dramas. The other half, the scared half, has become restless at the disturbing fact that there’s a chance I would be treated unfairly just because of my skin color. That instead of an enchanting stay, I’d be met with THE worst experience just because of me not being Korean (duh) and not being white enough to be adored or even be looked upon.

Now this is sad.

The love that I received just from watching “Sungkyunkwan Scandal” is now being challenged by the potentially damaging status quo in South Korea.

I know, I know. “Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.”

But then again, why should I risk going there only to be ridiculed by people whom I was willing to love and learn from? If all the said hate towards us was well-founded, I would have accepted that such love was not meant to be. But alas, something as petty as not meeting the “whiteness standards” is pretty much incomprehensible in my book.

*sigh*

I am still open to the idea of going there though. But until these doubts have been completely laid to rest, I shall remain ever the spectator; looking at the wonderful possibilities through beautifully crafted lines and romantic acting, waiting for the day when everything from the small screen would make it into reality.